Heather (guitariot) wrote,
Heather
guitariot

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i'd probably take a picture of you...

i finally got my pictures back, the ones that tell the story of the last month of the semester. i can't stop looking at them. they begin with cute pictures of all my ML friends. mug shots, a group shot that looks like a promo poster for a movie, everyone in my room, various shots of my slowly fading hair color, justin and owen leaving forever, and finally a documentation of finals week. jaime on the phone with jc, alex about to pass out on my bed, jc typing on christina's computer, and finally my very favorite...jc and i huddled around a very uncomfortable looking jaime, looking very drunk and overtired. that was the end to a super dramatic semester, and i realized that i never actually wrote about it.
after living almost two months in fear of jc, we somehow became friends. we were friendly before all the drama went down, but it was the ultimate commonality that was quickly tearing us apart. we were/are dating the same girl. jc and i started talking, which turned into jokes at jaime's expense. i don't know if it was our form of revenge, but we began to bond over the emotional hell we both had to go through. the stupid emo thing that made it impossible to focus on anything other than our own screwed up relationships.
everything changed completely when jaime left jc and i alone in the smoking room as she was freaking out about her polyamory paper. jc and i realized that if anyone knew about polyamory it was us. we both liked jaime, so why not help her out. we'd sit down, just the three of us and do the typical lesbian thing to do...talk about our emotions and how everything "made us feel." we excitedly ran off in search of jaime, practically dragging her to my room, promising free cigarettes and beer. splitting two 40s, we discussed everything, from the night i interrupted a week long relationship, to the lies, misunderstanding, and perceptions of everyone else. it was a huge emotional release, and i think we all felt better in the morning. now all i have left is the group photo and a copy of jaime's paper to remember it by. we achieved a major level of maturity in the whole thing. everyone else thought and still thinks we're all crazy. maybe it was sleep deprivation and stress, but after almost of week of relaxation and complete removal from the situation, it still makes sense to me. i'm sure i'll laugh about it years from now...the fact that i let it all completely consume my life. the worst of it is over, and i doubt i will ever have a relationship this confusing again. i may have slacked off on school work this past semester, but i learned more about emotions and relationships than i could have ever imagined.
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